My Epic Journey

Counselor John Townsend address the following question: When I cleaned my teenager’s room I found marijuana. How should I confront them now that I know they are on drugs?

While working on school work, I came across a great evaluation to determine if your student may have a drug or alcohol problem.

1.  Identification with drug culture

• drug-related magazines or slogans on clothing
• conversation and jokes that are preoccupied with drugs
• hostility discussing drugs
• collection of beer cans

2.  Signs of physical deterioration

• memory lapses, short attention span, difficulty concentrating
• poor physical coordination; slurred or incoherent speech
• unhealthy appearance; indifference to hygiene and grooming
• bloodshot eyes, dilated pupils

3.  Dramatic changes in school performance

• marked downturn in grades–not just from C’s to F’s, but from A’s to B’s and C’s; assignments not completed
• increased absenteeism or tardiness

4.  Changes in behavior

• chronic dishonesty (lying, stealing, cheating); trouble with police
• changes in friends; evasiveness in talking about new ones
• possession of large amounts of money
• increasing and inappropriate anger, hostility, irritability, secretiveness
• reduced motivation, energy, self-discipline, self-esteem
• diminished interest in extracurricular activities, hobbies, church activities

If your student is displaying any of these signs, it would be wise to dig deep into the reasons for such behavior and changes.

Reference:

Feldman, R. S. (2008). Development across the lifespan (5^th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Mark D. Regnerus argues in his book, Forbidden Fruit: Sex and Religion in the Lives of American Teenagers, that churches are not much more than “social control units.”  What he means by that is, the church is designed to bend adolescent (for that matter any age group) behavior away from the norm and “helps prevent them” from sinning.  He states that this done by “enmeshing [adolescents] in a religious personal network and community.”

My thought is this, Is this really our goal?  Are we just trying to curb teenage behavior by putting them in a setting that is socially religious?  Or should our goal be more personal and deep?

I would argue that our goal should be that our teenagers’ behavior is a direct reflection on their view of God not of the church.  Perhaps this is why so many students leave the church after high school because their view of church has changed.  If they had a proper view of God I think the stats would be different.

As a youth pastor I am then challenged to create, not a social control unit, but a place where students meet, wrestle, and commune with a real, knowable God.