5 C’s of Life-Giving Communication

(Proverbs 18.21; Ephesians 4.25-32)

Introduction:

Over the past month we have been studying the book of Proverbs in a series we have titled, Street Smarts.    Our base verse for the series is Proverbs 1.20, “Wisdom calls aloud in the street.” The goal behind the series is to point out that there are two different types of wisdom, wisdom from God and earthly wisdom.  Earthly wisdom is often referred in this world as having street smarts.  We want to have street smarts but not so much in the way the world thinks.  We want to have heavenly street smarts and we want to know what it means to live life according to how God desires us to live it.

In the series we have already looked at giving, compassion, fear, hard work, and purity.  Today we are going to look at the tongue.  I will never forget in middle school, sitting in the main service and hearing our pastor announce the topic of the sermon and hearing it was on the use of the tongue.  I remember frantically getting out my Bible, notebook and pen and feverously taking notes to realize halfway through that this had nothing to do with kissing which was very disappointing to me.  So just to clarify this morning, this has nothing to do with kissing and everything to do with glorifying God with our speech.

Read Proverbs 18.21

The writer of Proverbs has much more to say about the tongue.  Listen to some of these warnings:

Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 15:4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 17:20 A man of perverse heart does not prosper; he whose tongue is deceitful falls into trouble.

Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

Proverbs 21:23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.

The tongue, according to God, literally is either a spring of life or a pit of death to not only ourselves but to others around us.  So how can we make sure that our speech is life-giving instead of speech that brings death?

5 C’s of Life-Giving Communication

Read Ephesians 4.25-32

1. Be Correct (Ephesians 4.25)

• Speak Out
• Speak the Truth
• Speak the Truth Lovingly

Example:  Someone who is in the church that we feel may be harming themselves spiritually.  Our obligation is to first speak out, but to speak the truth and to do so with love.

2.  Be Current (Ephesians 4.26-27)

• It is not always sinful to be angry
• It is sinful not to solve problems daily
• Failing to keep current gives the Devil an opportunity

Example:  Pastor Pow-wows where we check to make sure there is nothing between any of us that may give Satan any room to cause division.

3.  Be Constructive (Ephesians 4.29)

• Don’t use “unwholesome” words

1.     Your momma’s so dumb it took her an hour to make minute rice

2.     Your momma’s so dumb she stayed up all night studying for her blood test

• Speak only edifying words

Challenge:  How many of your conversations today ended up with the other person feeling better about who they are?  How often, even in sarcasm, do we tear each other down and rarely give thought to building each other up with our words.

4.  Be Controlled (Ephesians 4.31)

• Exercise Self Control.  Don’t allow the situation to control you
• Put off unbiblical reactions: bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, malice

5.  Be Compassionate (Ephesians 4.32)

• Make the decision to act in a Christlike fashion
• Don’t allow yourself to react to the unbiblical actions of others.
• Put on biblical actions and attitudes: kind, tender-hearted, forgiving

Challenge:  If words such as, I’m sorry, How can I help?, is there anything I can do, etc. not in your vocabulary then perhaps you need to start working on being more compassionate with your speech.  The phrase, “If you don’t have anything nice to say than it is better to say nothing at all” is true on some levels but what is best is to work on creating a vocabulary that is full of compassion than just being silent.

These five principles of speech are necessary for us to develop so that we can give life instead of death with our words.

Conclusion:

Just a reminder that one way we can have street smarts is to heed the words of Proverbs 18.21, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”  The words that God desires to hear aloud in the street are life-giving words.  May all the words that come out of your mouth be pleasing to the ears of others but more importantly to the ears of God.

Here is the outline from this past week:

Text:  Romans 15.7

1.  God accepts us

     a.  Unconditionally (1 Corinthians 6.9-11)

     b.  Completely (Psalm 139)

2.  We MUST accept others

      a.  Unconditionally

      b.  Completely (Galatians 6.1)

Here are the teaching notes:

The believer is to present his body as a living sacrifice to God. Note three facts.

1.  God demands the believer’s body. God is not only interested in man’s spirit; He is vitally interested in man’sbody. His interest could not be any stronger nor made any clearer. This is clearly seen by contrasting the world’s view of the body with God’s view.

2.  The believer is to present his body to God. The dedication…

·  is not to be made to self: living as one wishes; doing one’s own thing.

·  is not to be made to others: living for family, wife, husband, child, parent, mistress, companion, sexual partner, or employer.

·  is not to be to something else: houses, lands, property, money, cars, possessions, profession, recreation, retirement, luxury, power, recognition, fame.

The body is to be offered to God and to God alone. God demands the body, demands that it be presented to Him. God wants the body to be sacrificially living for Him.

3.  The believer is to present his body to God as a living sacrifice. Note the believer’s offering of his body is to be sacrificial. This is the picture of Old Testament believers taking animals and offering them to God as sacrifices. The believer is to make the same kind of sacrificial offering to God, but note the profound difference. The believer’s offering is not to be the sacrifice of an animal’s flesh and blood. The offering and sacrifice of the believer is to be his body: he is to offer his body as a living sacrifice. A living sacrifice means at least four things.

·  A living sacrifice means a constant, continuous sacrifice, not just an occasional dedication of one’s body. A person does not sacrifice his body to God today, and then take his body back into his own hands and do his own thing tomorrow. A living sacrifice means that a person dedicates his body to live for God and to keep on living for God.

·  A living sacrifice means a sacrifice of a person’s body wherever the body is. A particular place is not needed. The sacrifice of the body is a living sacrifice; it can be made while the body is living right where it is. And the offering of a living sacrifice is to be made right now while the body is living.

·  A living sacrifice means that the body sacrifices its own desires and lives for God. The body lives a holy, righteous, pure, clean, and moral life for God. The body does not pollute, dirty, nor contaminate itself with the sins and corruptions of the world: neither the lust of the flesh, nor the lust of the eyes, nor the pride of life. The believer’s body is sacrificed for God and dedicated to live as He commands.

·  A living sacrifice means that the body lives for God by serving God. It means that the body sacrifices and gives up its own ambitions and desires, and it serves God while upon this earth. The body gives itself to the work of proclaiming the love of God and of ministering to a world reeling in desperate needs. The body sacrifices itself to serve God and Him alone. The body is dedicated to God as a living sacrifice.

In summary, the believer is to dedicate his body to God as a living sacrifice in the home, church, school, office, plant, field, restaurant, club, plane, car or bus. No matter where the believer’s body is, his body is to be sacrificed for God. Sacrificing to God is not something that is transacted in a church. Sacrificing to God is transacted in every act of the human body. The world, that is, the whole universe, is the sanctuary of God; and the believer’s body is the temple of God. Therefore, every act of the believer’s body is to be an act of service to God.

BOTTOM LINE: Letting go involves identifying the offense and trusting God to fix what was broken.

INTRODUCTION

Forgiveness is necessary.

It’s a must if we are to become the people God designed us to be.

TENSION

Our memories aren’t always the most reliable things when it comes to recounting what has happened in our past.

Our memory can get infused with so many powerful emotions.

The offense against us can become beside the point, and the bigger issue is the person.

If you aren’t careful, you can focus on the “wrongness” of this person and all that this individual represents, and lose sight of the specifics—the thing they did that hurt you.

We begin to mistake our personal feelings towards someone as God’s feelings towards them.

TRUTH

Forgiving someone. Moving on. It sounds so simple.

"For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more."  (Jeremiah 31.34b)

Then he adds: "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more." And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin. (Hebrews 10.17-18) 

So how do we get to the point where we move on, where we are able to move past the pain?

APPLICATION

Three ways God forgives us:

1.  He actively chooses not to bring up the sin to HIMSELF.

2.  He actively chooses not to bring up the sin to OTHERS.

3.  He actively chooses not to bring up the sin to YOU.

LANDING

Forgiveness doesn’t come naturally, or easily.

Two choices:  Hold on to the past and let it dominate your life OR forgive as Christ forgave and live a life of freedom.

What will it be?

TEXT: Luke 1.26-55 (New International Version)

How Can I Participate in the Story?

1.Know the STORY.  Mary felt more assured that everything was okay because she knew God’s story.

2.Know your ROLE.  If you are either young or old, big or little, male or female, God has a role for you and the sooner you know it the quicker you will be able to participate in the story.

3.Don’t be AFRAID.  It had to be scary for Mary to tell her parents and Joseph about the new role she found herself in but that didn’t stop her.  Don’t let fear hinder you from doing what God wants you to do.

4.Just DO IT!  Most of us are really good at coming up with excuses.  Stop!  Instead of putting all your energy into excuse-making, just do what God asks you to do.

The Invisibles (2): In Focus

Deuteronomy 10.17-19 (NLT)

17 “For the Lord your God is the God of gods and Lord of lords. He is the great God, the mighty and awesome God, who shows no partiality and cannot be bribed. 18 He ensures that orphans and widows receive justice. He shows love to the foreigners living among you and gives them food and clothing. 19 So you, too, must show love to foreigners, for you yourselves were once foreigners in the land of Egypt. 20 You must fear the Lord your God and worship him and cling to him. Your oaths must be in his name alone. 21 He alone is your God, the only one who is worthy of your praise, the one who has done these mighty miracles that you have seen with your own eyes.

Our response to each other:

1. Show no partiality

2. Look after those in need

3. Love those outside the group

4. Clothe and feed them

Our Response to God:

1. Fear Him

2. Worship Him

3. Cling to Him

4. Praise Him

Micah 6.8 (NIV)

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

BOTTOM LINE: At some point in your life, you were invisible—but Jesus saw you.

INTRODUCTION

There are people all around us who go unseen.

TENSION

Some of you have felt invisible before.

At some point in our lives, each one of us will experience what it’s like to be invisible.

TRUTH

“Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6 NIV).

“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” Then Jesus said to him: “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked (John 5:7-9 NIV).

Jesus saw those others overlooked. He paid attention to those others thought invisible. He stopped. He took notice. And then He did something.

APPLICATION

Every one of us has actually been the man at the pool.

When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners (Romans 5:6 NLT).

Just like the man at the pool—we are without hope, without strength, without assistance—until Jesus took notice of us.

God didn’t ignore us. He sent His Son to die for us. When we had no one, God sent Jesus so we could have Someone.

Jesus sees the invisibles. He sees us when we’re so desperate and we want to be seen. He sees us when we’re completely unaware of how impossible and hopeless our situation is.

Jesus not only saw the invisibles then, He sees the invisibles now.

LANDING

Everyone could use a connection—if only someone would stop long enough to reach out.

Because of Jesus’ love, because of His actions, we never have to be invisible again.

November Teaching Series:  The Invisisbles

We are surrounded by the invisibles. These are people who simply want to know someone cares, someone notices—people who want to know God cares. Some of us would even say we feel that way—invisible to an entire world, daily passing us by. Whether that feeling is a familiar one or not, the reality is that each one of us has felt invisible at one point or another. But we didn’t stay that way. God saw us. He sees the invisibles. And because God took notice of us, we are able to open our eyes to see those around us.

· Week One: Can You See Me? (November 1st)

Sometimes you can stand in a room or walk down a hallway or sit in a chair and no one notices you. It’s not that you have some type of special ability that makes you invisible—people just don’t see you. They know nothing about you—nor do they seem to want to know anything about you. It’s like you’re not even there, even when you are physically in the room. You’re invisible. The good news is Jesus sees invisible people—even those who never realized they were invisible.

· Week Two: In Focus (November 8th)

Some people go unnoticed. There are people in the background of our lives we never see. Maybe it’s the guy at the gas station or the girl at the coffee shop. Maybe it’s the girl sitting in the lunchroom, or the guy hanging out in the back of the youth room. There are people all around us who we treat as invisible. But because of how God has seen us, because of what we’ve experienced personally, our vision is changed. How can we begin to see the people in our lives every day that may normally go overlooked? How can we see the people halfway around the world that go unnoticed? What can we do to bring those around us in focus?

· Week Three: Seeing Beyond the Seen (November 15th)

Sometimes what we really want isn’t what we are asking for. Sometimes what we really need is invisible to us. Thankfully Jesus sees us, really sees us. He sees the obvious physical needs and the more subtle spiritual ones too. And not only does He see them, He cares enough to do something about them both. When it comes to reaching out to the invisibles, when we provide friendship, water, help—sometimes it just isn’t enough. There’s a deeper, spiritual need that can only be met through Jesus Christ. And because of that, we do both—we help with the physical need but point them to Jesus Christ for the spiritual one.

· Week Four:  Service Project (November 22nd)

Excited about partnering up with Tonya Riedel and hosting a Parent’s Night Out for Parent’s with children with disabilities.  We will be meeting at the regular time of 5:00-7:00 pm.  Parents, if you want to join us as we serve the community, we would love to have you there!!

· Week Five:  No EPIC (November 29th)

Because it is the Thanksgiving Holiday weekend, we will NOT have EPIC on November 29^th.

seeing it [Matthew 25:34-40]

³⁴Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. ³⁵For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. ³⁶I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.”

³⁷Then these righteous ones will reply, “Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? ³⁹When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?”

⁴⁰And the King will say, “I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!”

the hard work of noticing it

[A] The world is mostly good and needs little adjustment or help

[B] The world is mostly a mess and is in need of serious help

[C] I haven’t really thought much about the world… I’m a mess

[D] I haven’t really thought much about the world… I’m not a mess

[E] I am not OK with injustice, poverty, disease, isolation, racism, etc.

[F] I am OK with injustice, poverty, disease, isolation, racism, etc.

“the world” on god’s post-it… [isaiah 61:1-2//Luke 4:18-19]

¹The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
      for the Lord has anointed me
      to bring good news to the poor.
   He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted
      and to proclaim that captives will be released
      and prisoners will be freed.
²He has sent me to tell those who mourn
      that the time of the Lord’s favor has come,
      and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.

my post-it note

What does God want me to do today for Him?

WE (1): THE OTHERS

Bottom Line: Following Christ was never meant to be done alone—we need community.

TEACHING OUTLINE

INTRODUCTION

Life seems a lot easier without people.

TENSION

Living without relationships never feels right for long.

We all long to belong.

TRUTH

When the LORD God made the earth and the heavens—and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the earth and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no man to work the ground, but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground—the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being (Genesis 2:4-7 NIV).

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man” (Genesis 2:18-23 NIV).

“It is not good.”

APPLICATION

Story of Chris McCandless

“An unshared happiness is not happiness . . . happiness is only real when shared.”

Following Jesus Christ was never meant to be a completely personal, private relationship.

We were created with a need for other people.

LANDING

If you are lacking community, it isn’t good.

God made us to need other people.