My Epic Journey

Here is a pic of my favorite books. 

These books I often return to multiple times a year for insight and reflection.  They have helped develop my ministry, my profession and my person.

I felt overwhelmed today.  Most of the day.  Tense.  Anxious.  Stirred.  Overwhelmed.

Not sure why.  Really, why.

Maybe because:

• the van broke down
• big ministry time in EPIC (graduations, events, camp, etc)
• dealing with finances
• doctor’s appointment coming up
• etc.

Maybe all or some of those.

Actually I know why.  But I don’t want to say.  It is embarrassing.  Revealing.  Convicting.

Okay.  The reason–the real reason I feel overwhelmed–disconnectedness.

Big word.  Big problem.

My reason for my feeling of overwhelm-ness (not actually a word) is because I have disconnected myself from God lately.

I have excuses though:

• school work
• spending time with family
• working on lessons for EPIC
• regular church stuff
• did I say school work?
• counseling students and their families

Good excuses right?  Maybe for me but not with God.  God desires my full, 100%, undivided attention.  And He deserves it.  But I am not giving it to Him.

I feel overwhelmed because I am disconnected.  I am trying to do everything on my own.  I can’t.  Impossible.

Solution.  Re-connect with God.  Spend time with Him.  Talk to Him.  Listen to Him.

I am going to re-connect now.  Don’t interrupt.

I receive wisdom and guidance from two places in this world:  regular Bible reading/study and the fortune cookie I get every month when we eat at the Asian Garden Buffet.  Guess what?  Tonight we ate the Asian Garden Buffet.  I always pray for two things when I go into the AGB, 1) the sugar donut thingies are fresh and numerous, and 2) that I get a good fortune cookie . . . wait, I also pray that meat really is chicken.

Tonight, after I anxiously went through my "fortune-cookie-breaking-and-eating" routine, I read this on my fortune cookie:

Your lucky numbers are 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, & 42 (anyone know the significance of those numbers?)–jk, those weren’t really my numbers.

Then I turned over the paper and my fortune was:

Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.

I found this message very pertinent to my life right now.  Let me explain.  I love everything I am doing now.  Family, ministry, school, etc, but I am finding that I am also constantly overwhelmed and tired about all of these things at the same time. 

In family life, things are becoming crazy with baseball season for the boys, Anna’s mom is moving to Columbus, keeping up with Emma.  I love it but it is a lot.

In ministry, we are getting ready for the summer months, re-evaluating how student ministry is done at Grace Point, re-organizing leadership, kicking off monthly middle school outreach events, etc.–not to mention what is going on in the bigger picture of the church.  I am passionate about ministry–but it is hectic.

In school, I am being challenged, learning how to be a better counselor, reading interesting books, research studies, and journal articles.  I has been good–but a lot.

What I realized tonight is that even though we may love something and are passionate about, if we don’t take things moderately and in God’s timing, we will eventually burnout and become ineffective.  I immediately think of Jesus, who developed His mission and purpose for 33 years on this earth.  He took his time in picking and developing the disciples, teaching those who followed Him and healing those in need.  And He also took regular sabbaticals, or periods of rest, so that He could re-focus.  Jesus was most certainly passionate and loved what and who He was called to but He also did what He could to moderate himself and avoid fatigue.

For me, I don’t want to be ineffective in ANY of those above categories.  Perhaps you are like me and feel as if you are running a hundred miles an hour doing the things you love–but you are tired.

Take some time to rest.

Refocus your purpose and love.

and then Tackle your passion and purpose moderately.

Oh, and by the way, I really don’t LIVE for fortune cookie prophecies, though it was interesting that Noah’s (our 7 year old) tonight said, "you will soon come into some unexpected money."  Tonight, when we got home, he lost a tooth.