My Epic Journey

I had the great opportunity of having lunch with Adam Purcell, the Family Life Pastor at LifePoint Community Church.  We talked about life and ministry and had a great time, but one thing in particular stood out to me that he had said.

When challenging his leaders in relation to serving students he said there are three things he asks them to do:

1.  Pray

You can’t lead someone spiritually if you haven’t asked the Spirit to guide and help.  Prayer is one of those “must” that rarely ever happens.

2.  Prepare

Be ready to for what might come up with students.  Know what they are going through.  And if you are teaching a lesson, definitely take the necessary time to know and ingest the topic you are discussing.

3.  Pursue

Teens like to know they matter and one of the best ways to do that is to pursue them.  I’m not talking about during church or the EPIC teaching times, but outside of GPCC and EPIC.  Contact them through Facebook, text, or call them.  Meet with them for a shake or a burrito.  Show up at one of their sporting events.  Really, just love them throughout the week.

Thanks Adam, for this great reminder!

I recently had the wonderful opportunity to preach at Grace Point Community Church.  The topics of my talk was the tongue.  It was part of a series we are doing called Street Smarts.  Below is my sermon outline for my talk. If you are more of a listener than a reader you can listen to it HERE.

5 C’s of Life-Giving Communication

(Proverbs 18.21; Ephesians 4.25-32)

Introduction:

Over the past month we have been studying the book of Proverbs in a series we have titled, Street Smarts.    Our base verse for the series is Proverbs 1.20, “Wisdom calls aloud in the street.” The goal behind the series is to point out that there are two different types of wisdom, wisdom from God and earthly wisdom.  Earthly wisdom is often referred in this world as having street smarts.  We want to have street smarts but not so much in the way the world thinks.  We want to have heavenly street smarts and we want to know what it means to live life according to how God desires us to live it.

In the series we have already looked at giving, compassion, fear, hard work, and purity.  Today we are going to look at the tongue.  I will never forget in middle school, sitting in the main service and hearing our pastor announce the topic of the sermon and hearing it was on the use of the tongue.  I remember frantically getting out my Bible, notebook and pen and feverously taking notes to realize halfway through that this had nothing to do with kissing which was very disappointing to me.  So just to clarify this morning, this has nothing to do with kissing and everything to do with glorifying God with our speech.

Read Proverbs 18.21

The writer of Proverbs has much more to say about the tongue.  Listen to some of these warnings:

Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 15:4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 17:20 A man of perverse heart does not prosper; he whose tongue is deceitful falls into trouble.

Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

Proverbs 21:23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.

The tongue, according to God, literally is either a spring of life or a pit of death to not only ourselves but to others around us.  So how can we make sure that our speech is life-giving instead of speech that brings death?

5 C’s of Life-Giving Communication

Read Ephesians 4.25-32

1. Be Correct (Ephesians 4.25)

• Speak Out
• Speak the Truth
• Speak the Truth Lovingly

Example:  Someone who is in the church that we feel may be harming themselves spiritually.  Our obligation is to first speak out, but to speak the truth and to do so with love.

2.  Be Current (Ephesians 4.26-27)

• It is not always sinful to be angry
• It is sinful not to solve problems daily
• Failing to keep current gives the Devil an opportunity

Example:  Pastor Pow-wows where we check to make sure there is nothing between any of us that may give Satan any room to cause division.

3.  Be Constructive (Ephesians 4.29)

• Don’t use “unwholesome” words

1.     Your momma’s so dumb it took her an hour to make minute rice

2.     Your momma’s so dumb she stayed up all night studying for her blood test

• Speak only edifying words

Challenge:  How many of your conversations today ended up with the other person feeling better about who they are?  How often, even in sarcasm, do we tear each other down and rarely give thought to building each other up with our words.

4.  Be Controlled (Ephesians 4.31)

• Exercise Self Control.  Don’t allow the situation to control you
• Put off unbiblical reactions: bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, malice

5.  Be Compassionate (Ephesians 4.32)

• Make the decision to act in a Christlike fashion
• Don’t allow yourself to react to the unbiblical actions of others.
• Put on biblical actions and attitudes: kind, tender-hearted, forgiving

Challenge:  If words such as, I’m sorry, How can I help?, is there anything I can do, etc. not in your vocabulary then perhaps you need to start working on being more compassionate with your speech.  The phrase, “If you don’t have anything nice to say than it is better to say nothing at all” is true on some levels but what is best is to work on creating a vocabulary that is full of compassion than just being silent.

These five principles of speech are necessary for us to develop so that we can give life instead of death with our words.

Conclusion:

Just a reminder that one way we can have street smarts is to heed the words of Proverbs 18.21, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”  The words that God desires to hear aloud in the street are life-giving words.  May all the words that come out of your mouth be pleasing to the ears of others but more importantly to the ears of God.

Received the link to this post from a good friend of mine, Colleen Torlone, (http://lifeswellspring.blogspot.com).  Thought it appropriate and necessary to repost it.

Your kid’s an All Star? Wow! Someday he’ll be average like the rest of us.

The church in America is puzzled. Young adults are leaving in droves. Magazines, books and blogs are wagging the finger of blame to point out who is responsible. Some say it is a failure of youth ministry, some point to church budgets and some nail the blame on outdated, unhip worship services. We parents are shocked that our kids just really aren’t all that into Jesus.

When I look for someone to blame I head into the restroom and look into a mirror. Yupp, there he is. I blame him. That parent looking back at me is where I have to start.

If you’re a parent, I’m might tick you off in this post. But, hear me out. I think that we, as parents are guilty of some things that make it easy for our kids to put faith low on their priority list.

Keys to Making Your Kids Apathetic About Faith

1) Put academic pursuits above faith-building activities. Encourage your child to put everything else aside for academic gain. Afterall, when they are 24 and not interested in faith and following Christ, you’ll still be thrilled that they got an A in pre-calculus, right? Instead of teaching them balance, teach them that all else comes second to academics. Quick … who graduated in the top 5 of your high school class? Unless you were one of them, I bet you have no idea. I don’t.

2) Chase the gold ball first and foremost. Afterall, your child is a star. Drive 400 miles so your child can play hockey but refuse to take them to a home group bible study because it’s 20 minutes away.

2b) Buy into the “select,” “elite,” “premier” titles for leagues that play outside of the school season and take pride in your kid wearing the label. Hey now, he’s an All-Star! No one would pay $1000 for their kid to join, “Bunch-of-kids-paying-to-play Team.” But, “Elite?!?” Boy, howdy! That’s the big time!

2c) Believe the school coach who tells you that your kid won’t play if he doesn’t play in the offseason. The truth is, if your kid really is a star, he could go to Disney for the first week of the season and come back and start for his school team. The determined coach might make him sit a whole game to teach him a lesson. But, trust me, if Julie can shoot the rock for 20 points a game, she’s in the lineup. I remember a stellar soccer athlete who played with my son in high school. Chris missed the entire preseason because of winning a national baseball championship. With no workouts, no double sessions, his first day back with the soccer team, he started and scored two goals. Several hard-working “premier” players sat on the bench and watched him do it. (Chris never played soccer outside the school season but was a perpetual district all-star selection.) The hard reality is, if your kid is not a star, an average of 3 new stars a year will play varsity as freshmen. That means there’s always 12 kids who are the top prospects. Swallow hard and encourage your kid to improve but be careful what you sacrifice to make him a star at little Podunk High here in Maine.

2d) By the way, just because your kid got a letter inviting him to attend a baseball camp in West Virginia does not mean he is being recruited. You’ll know when recruiting happens. Coaches start calling as regularly as telemarketers, they send your kid handwritten notes and they often bypass you to talk to your kid. A letter with a printed label from an athletic department is not recruitment. When a coach shows up to watch your kid play and then talks to you and your kid, that’s recruiting.

3) Teach your kid that the dollar is almighty. I see it all the time. Faith activities fly out the window when students say, “I’d like to, but I have to work.” Parents think jobs teach responsibility when, in reality, most students are merely accumulating wealth to buy the things they want. Our kids learn that faith activities should be put aside for the “responsibility” of holding a job. They will never again get to spend 100% of their paychecks on the stuff they want.

3b) Make them pay outright for faith activities like youth retreats and faith community activities while you support their sports, music, drama and endeavors with checks for camps and “select” groups and expensive equipment. This sends a loud and clear message of what you really want to see them involved in and what you value most. Complain loudly about how expensive a three-day youth event is but then don’t bat an eye when you pay four times that for a three-day sports camp.

4) Refuse to acknowledge that the primary motivating force in kids’ lives is relationship. Connections with others is what drives kids to be involved. It’s the reason that peer pressure is such a big deal in adolescence. Sending kids to bible classes and lectures is almost entirely ineffective apart from relationship and friendships that help them process what they learn. As kids share faith experiences like retreats, mission trips and student ministry fun, they build common bonds with one another that work as a glue to Christian community. In fact, a strong argument can be made that faith is designed to be lived in community with other believers. By doing all you can to keep your kids from experiencing the bonds of love in a Christian community, you help insure that they can easily walk away without feeling like they are missing anything. Kids build friendships with the kids they spend time with.

5) Model apathy in your own life. If following Jesus is only about sitting in a church service once a week and going to meetings, young adults opt out. Teenagers and young adults are looking for things that are worth their time. Authentic, genuine, relevant relationships where people are growing in relationship with Jesus is appealing. Meaningless duty and ritual holds no attraction.

There are no guarantees that your children will follow Christ even if you have a vibrant, purposeful relationship with Him. But, on the other hand, if we, as parents do not do all we can to help our children develop meaningful relationships in Jesus, we miss a major opportunity to lead them and show them the path worth walking.

I want my kids to see that their dad follows Jesus with everything. I want them to know that my greatest hope for them is that they follow Him too.

Mt. 6:33 Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. (The Message)

On a personal note: I know the struggle. My wife and I have lived the struggle firsthand. My son was recruited by a few D1 NCAA schools for baseball and opted instead to attend a small D3 school. My daughter was recruited to play field hockey by a couple D2 programs and ended up playing D3 when the scholarship offer was not enough to make her top school affordable. Both played in “premier” leagues. Both got A’s in high school though we often told them not to stress out too much over it. Both are in honor societies in college and my son now has offers from UNC, Univ. of Wisconsin, Johns Hopkins and Weil Cornell for a Phd in Pharmacology. Neither ever missed a youth group retreat, conference or mission trip because of their sports or academic commitments. Both missed a game or two to attend faith-based activities. Both missed school for family vacations. Both held down part-time jobs in high school and learned to give employers advance notice for upcoming retreats. My son often changed into his baseball uniform at church to arrive in the third inning of Sunday games. Robin and I did all we could to make sure they connected in student ministry even when it meant driving straight from a tournament to a music festival at midnight so that they would not miss out. It was that important to us. My youngest, a culinary student, lost a restaurant job because he went on a mission trip. That’s fine. Thankfully, all 3 have strong faith walks today. That is due only to God’s grace. But, I do believe that our efforts and example helped them long for a community-based faith.

Use this post however you find helpful. Reprint, repost, link to it or whatever. A link back to http://scottlinscott.wordpress.com would be awesome.